When I get stuck, I mean really stuck, it is always because I am asking the wrong question with the wrong body part. I get caught up in the HOW and asking my brain (via my ego) what I am supposed to do next. It never turns out well.
What I recognize about myself in these situations is this… The more complex my solution, the more in denial I am about the results I truly want. My desires are not hard to reach. My purpose is not an impossible ask. My dreams are not dependent upon a wild scheme that involves anyone but me.
One of the greatest responsibilities we have as entrepreneurs with a message is to create a safe place for people to confront their own privileges, to face their own limitations, to go head-to-head with their own demons, and to offer them the room to challenge their own assumptions so they can begin to question what they believe is their own truth.
We are not defined by our worst moments. We are not defined by what has happened to us. We are not defined by our reactions. We are not defined by our silence. And we don't owe anyone our stories.
We talk a lot about what being a badass Goddess looks like. It always has something to do with yoga poses, flowers in the hair, beautiful beach sunsets, and chocolate. Add in oracle cards, essential oils, and candles, and call it a retreat and women will pay thousands of dollars to have that experience. And I guess that is part of it. But what I see as being a Goddess is the part where we fiercely take a stand for women and children all around this world.
I am tiptoeing into this space - into a place I wouldn’t wish upon my enemy. To face off against the worst in others - the judgement, hatred, bigotry, shame, guilt, disgust they have for fat people - and stand for who I know I am - to hopefully spark a conversation around being seen for who we (all of us) are not what we (all of us) look like.
I am not ready for it.
And yet.
It is not my job to make your life comfortable.
It is so much easier to stay numb. To just get by - day to day - and only opening yourself up to what is required to survive.
To limit your emotional response to only a small fraction of what is available because we've been taught that feeling too much is a bad thing.
But what if we could feel 2% happier? 2% more compassion? 2% more empathy? 2% more hope?
The worst advise I think anyone can receive when sharing their demons with the world is this,
"You can do anything you set your mind to."
Respectfully, I call BULL-SHIT.
First, it's not that simple.
Second, you are making them out to be a victim.
Third, if it were true, no one would ever give up on a dream.
Fourth, it offers no level of compassion or support.
Fifth, it takes more than mindset to accomplish anything.
Let's break these down, one-by-one.
He told me I talked too much and that I needed to only say things once but think about what I was saying so that people actually listened the first time I said it. He said I repeated by thoughts because I wasn't confident in what I was saying and that if I would be more thoughtful and concise with my words, people would take me more seriously.
Um, ouch.
Over the years, I've thought about that comment several times, passing it off as true, sometimes, absolutely ridiculous other times.
But it wasn't until today that I realized the damage it had done.
If you don’t know what you stand for...
If you aren’t clear on your values...
If you aren’t aligned with your goals...
If you can’t claim your desires...
Then how do you know where you are going and, most importantly, how will you know when you get there?
AND
Will you even recognize yourself when you “arrive”?
You can’t expect to spend your whole life speaking from a place of fear, guilt, shame, belonging, and pride to then immediately be able to consistently and comfortably speak your truth.
It is a muscle that must be exercised.
Also because vulnerability hangover is real.
And sometimes people just don’t want to hear it.
Your truth isn’t always comfortable - for you or others.
But it must be spoken. It must be released into the world.
I look for inspiration everywhere. Somedays, I need more of a push than other days, so I take what I can get where I can get it.
There's nothing that makes me spin into despair faster than being unmotivated and uninspired (which is when the nonstop chatter of "I don't know what to do" I don't know what I want" "I am so stuck and don't have any idea what I should focus on" "I should just get a real job"... is loud and obnoxious.)
I’ve never been a rebel. Well, except that one year in college when I worked at the school radio station and spent weekends dressed like a confused goth/grunge rocker - Doc Martens, black eyeliner, big hair, bleached jeans, the works.
But mostly, I’ve spent my life not rocking the boat. Not drawing attention to myself. Staying in the background.
There is a siren, fire starter, eternal flame, wild woman buried within. I've seen only glimpses of her over the past 40 years.
She is fierce, bold, unrelenting, unpredictable.
But have no worries. You are safe from her defiance. She is locked up nice and tight. No way she will ever be able to break free of the chains keeping her hidden from the world.
Until she finds the courage to speak out. To be heard. To face the fear of being seen for who she truly is. Who she always was. Who she shall always be.
Are you afraid of your own voice?
Are you ignoring your power, your gift, your capabilities, your responsibilities?
Are you sitting on the sidelines wondering why you aren’t protesting, leading, sharing, being a changemaker?
Are you not speaking out and encouraging others to do the same?
Are you hiding?
Almost 5 years ago I was introduced to Simon Sinek’s book, “Start With Why”. I had been desperately searching for my purpose; for what I am supposed to be doing here on Earth and was excited to dig into the exercises.
I can’t really explain how my Why came to me. I wish I could say it was like a lightening bolt that was so inspirational I stopped everything to pursue it.
